My senior high school journey at the University of Santo Tomas.
When I first entered UST SHS, I was full of hopes and dreams, little did I know that I will exit without them (CHAROT HAHAHAHA)
The Pontifical and Royal University of Santo Tomas has always been my dream school. I didnāt know when it started, maybe it was when I first heard of the āGo USTeā chants? Iām really not sure ,but surely I dreamt to become a Thomasian.
I never thought that Iād have an opportunity to study here since after high school, my parents want me to study in another university. But then K to 12 was approved and there goes Senior High School. I took an exam and eventually passed the USTET. Youāll never know how ecstatic I was at that morning when the results came out. I was freaking out that I mightāve not passed because whenever I tried to log in into my account, I canāt access it. I realized soon after that I was entering the wrong numbers. When I was able to get through, I learned that I passed and ta da! I became a Thomasian last August 2017.
Grabe no, 2 years na rin pala ang nakalilipas simula noong pumasok ako sa Arch of the Centuries noong Welcome Walk. Sobrang daming nangyari at nagbago since then. I remember during those times na I was fixing my documents for transferring, I wasnāt my best self but I know that I was trying.
Ayon nga, I entered UST looking so whole on the outside but shattered on the inside. I told myself that maybe, during these 2 years, I will be able to fix myself. But I was so wrong.
If I entered like a broken piece of glass, Senior High School shattered my hopes and dreams into tiny pieces, and powderedĀ itĀ further.
It started out smooth sailing but things happened, we lost a dear friend, PETAs came rushing in, there are some groupings na sadyang may pabuhat talaga, yung traffic whenever I travel to and from Fairview and iba pang mga nakaka-stress na bagay. The grade 12 curriculum was really hard especially there are subjects na di talaga kami nagma-match ng professors ko. Like, di match yung learning style ko sa teaching style nila so I have to do extra review lalo na pag mahirap yung subjects.
Akala mo talaga easy lang noong grade 11 eh, 3 days pasok + PE day. Sobrang daming time pa for PETAs pero di naming alam na babawiin ātong lahat pagdating nga grade 12. Sabay-sabay lahat ng major subjects tapos STEM students pa kami. Ang draining lang niya haha
Lots of breakdowns happened, in different locations, different instances. Pinaka-iniyakan ko talaga yung Empowerment Technologies haha. Iām really not interested with programming and stuff tapos I thought I was gonna fail. Thankfully, I was able to adjust during the latter half of that semester. Dumating din sa point na I was wishing for a 75 para lang pumasa (Basic Calculus). Ayoko na lang talaga mag Intervention Class because it means magbabayad na naman ako and pipilitin ko na naman maintindihan lahat ng lessons in the span of few hours and for few days.
Legit na iginapang ko na lang talaga yung Grade 12. I wake up at 4 or 5 am, leave home at 5 or 6 am, thankfully hinahatid ako ni daddy sa school because if magco-commute ako, baka wala na akong masasakyan. 7 am ā 5 pm class ko during Grade 12 1st semester, then noong 2nd semester naging 9 or 10 am to 7 pm, but I still leave home early. Gabi na rin ako nakakauwi so I just really go home to sleep.
Yung mga assignments ginagawa ko sa may gazebo every morning. I feel sorry everytime na sasabihin ko sa kagrupo ko na gagawin ko yung mga requirements when I get home but nakakatulog na ako paguwi. Sobrang pagod na kasi talaga ako. Kaya ayon, I try my best na gawin na lahat ng gawain sa school because I know na hindi ko na āyon magagawa sa bahay (not unless weekend)
Despite of my dreams being powdered and pulverized into tiny bits of sand, I realized that those things will make me stronger. Like a sand used in a concrete, I realized that these things will help me build something stronger and better.
No matter how hard life has been during those two years in Senior High School, I know in myself that I wouldnāt have it any other way. It was meaningful and wonderful because it happened. That journey was not only negative but there are positive sides as well.
I enjoyed every UST activity that we had, the Welcome Walk, ROARientation, Welcome Party, Paskuhan, UAAP games, Music Fest, Human Formation and other activities that I forgot to mention. I will never get tired of chanting and bearing my heart out in cheering āGo USTeā as I bleed āBlack Gold, Black Whiteā. I will always love walking along the areas of Loverās Lane even though Iām alone haha, I just really admire the trees around that area. I also enjoy the times whenever Iāll stay at the gazebos near Roque RuaƱo and Albertus Magnus and finish my school works, be it alone or with some of my classmates who arrives early in UST as well. Iām not a very artistic person but I love how majestic the architectural design of the Main Building looks as it stood there over centuries.
I really love UST and I will always fall in love with it.
The memories that I get to spend over the course of 2 years was so amazing. Every time na naglalakad ako sa campus, I somehow get used to it na later on narealize ko na it could be the last time that Iām gracing over this beautiful university. Ito na pala yung last kain naming together sa Mcdo, sa Chow Point, sa Mang Inasal , or sa ever favorite naming Subarashi. We were so used to these things that we did not realize that it was already the last ā and thatās what make it sad.
Super mamimiss ko kasama maglunch sila Nich, Mart and Hyrone and the rest of the people that I get to spend lunch/ dinner with. Yung dinner namin na ang tagal magdecide pero sa Subarashi pa rin ang ending. Mamimiss ko yung chicken sa Chiquitos kahit once ko lang na-try yung wings kasi laging out of stock (Chops lang tuloy nakakain ko doon). Mamimiss ko maglaro/ manood ng volleyball sa field or sa prac gym. Mamimiss ko tumambay sa Loverās Lane everytime na sinasamahan niyo ako hintayin tatay ko para sunduin ako kahit minsan lights out na. Ang daming bagay na sobra kong mamimiss pero syempre, the thing that Iāll miss the most are the people whom I got to spend those memories with. Sobrang daming memories = sobrang daming gastos hehe but all those times spent with you was worth it.
You guys made those 2 years worthwhile.
Itās repetitive but lots of things really happened that I, myself too have changed. I can say that I did get a little bit better and a little bit wiser. I was able to keep my discipline and stand when it comes to things. When I know that itās against my values I really donāt do it. Iām proud that I never even got to taste liquor during my entire Senior High School life despite of all the parties and events that occurred during the span of 2 years. Iām not saying that drinking is bad (uhmmm if itās too much haha) but I just really donāt feel like drinking yet. Yes, Iām already 19 but time will come and we will get to that š
Iām mentally stronger nowadays. The downfalls that Iāve experienced helped me accept the reality of the harshness of life. Life wasnāt meant to be just rainbows and butterflies, it needs to be mixed with a little bit of storms, lightnings and somehow, flooding (AHCKKK ESPAĆA)
I spent my entire academic life being used in having recognition (not to brag tho, but to tell a lesson). I always make my parents go onstage to hang medals around my neck. As time goes by, those medals got heavier and it pressured me to the point that I doubt everything around me. I even wonder if people are only nice to me because Iām good in academics. There are also instances wherein they expect me to always be at the top even though personally, ranking doesnāt even matter to me. The pressure grew quite big within me to the point that I snapped. I did not care anymore, I just want to go on and do what I have to do. Go to school, make friends, try to understand the lesson and the likes.
Now, in SHS I got to do everything without a single pressure. If thereāll be, I really did not care about it. I just have to do my own thing. I just want to pass and retain my scholarship but sadly, I lost it at the latter part of the Grade12 semester. I got line of 7 grades. I was not the best student. But there is one thing that I become, I become happier.
In that moment in life, I knew that I was contented with what I have and Iām grateful for all of those things.
I really changed in that aspect. My heart really did become happy, no pretensions. My relationships with the people I love got better. My fangirl life is so good haha. I rarely feel the emptiness anymore. I just really feel contented and for me, thatās what matters the most.
Iām not telling you to have grades as bad as I did have, what I want to say is that you must do things at your heartās desire. If you really want it then go for it. It is because the moment that someoneās pressuring you or forcing you to do those things, thatāll be the moment wherein you wonāt feel the contentment anymore. It will not feel the same. Kapag napipilitan ka na lang, itigil mo na. Stop for a while then find something thatāll ignite the spark within you. Rest, then find something that will inspire you, again.
After all the stops and rests that I had, Iām finally here at that point wherein Iām trying to ignite the spark that once lost within me.
All those setbacks that I had made me realize that maybe I was really losing my own self. So I picked myself up, and tried to be a better and happier version of myself. Nowadays, I have a clear goal in mind thatās not from anybody else. I now know what I wanted and hopefully Iāll be able to reach those dreams.
Thank you for being a part of my SHS journey.
Until next time, xoxo
āPart of the journey is the endā ā Tony Stark
Next stop? Road to Sablay 2023!
PS: Muntikan na magkatotoo yung lagi kong sinasabi na āPasado nga sa CETs baka naman hindi gagraduateā
Check out ‘A thankful heart’