When I was younger, I was asked What do you want to be when you grow up?
That very question prompted my mind to dream of growing up and to look forward to what one would become.
To be a nurse, I said in pre-school,
To be a scientist, during 1st grade,
An electrical and computer engineer, I thought to myself during 5th grade, when I thought I was good in math.
A lawyer perhaps, was what I thought when I was in junior high school, as I learned to be more aware about the social realities of life
During SHS, I said I would instead want to be a criminal profiler since it is the intermediate between law and medicine,
When I entered college, as I say I am taking BS Biology, I had this initial thought that maybe, I wanted to become a doctor.
But then at the back of mind, I still wonder, what is really my dream?
Do I still have one?
From the young kid who was once asked what kind of person she wanted to become, and now that the reality is getting closer, I wonder where my dreams went?
Why did it slowly fade into the background?
Was it the numerous auditions that I had failed?
Was it the few auditions wherein I almost got in and almost made it?
Or was it the failed applications that seems to be a screaming sign from the universe that says NO, music is not for you.
If I were to think about a dream, it has to be music, writing, and the arts. It has to be somewhere along those elements that gives me a fleeting feeling that one too, can dream.
But just like any other dream, one has to wake up and face the reality that not all dreams could happen. And so here I am, with one of the realities that I’ve chosen – Ecology.
I am thankful that this path has led me to lots of doors, but I am also content that at least it made me dream again. Aside from the idea of wanting to serve the people being fulfilled (the main reason why I want to pursue law or med) as this path allows me to serve the people through the means of having an impact (hopefully) in improving our environment in relation to combating environmental problems.
This path too, has also opened a very simple dream,
To travel
To see the world
To see the love in life that I have been constantly seeking.
I am not saying that where I am is what I have actually dreamt of as a young girl
But what I’m saying is that, even if I dreamt of growing up fast back then,
In which I wish I didn’t, and I wished I took time slowly,
Being in this moment is still significant for me.
I used to not see myself in the future, it has become blurry for a long time.
But for now, maybe the mist will subside just a bit,
Maybe the clouds had their ways for letting me see the sun.