The Long Hiatus.
What made me stop writing and thoughts on my future self this 2018.
Hi! Yes, you hehe , to whoever who’s reading this I hope you’ll read it until the very end 😉
I started this blog way back June 2017 with the thoughts of writing about my family trips as we go on vacations and different places around the country. Actually, I’m still keeping all those pictures and videos in a hard drive but I can’t seem to get myself to start writing. It became hard for me to write. I lost inspiration I guess but then, I still tried ( Palm Beach write-up) because I want to cheer myself up. I want to divert myself to the things that make me happy.
I also want to keep a portfolio of my fashion choices. I am not a pro when it comes to it but I definitely enjoy this craft. I love shopping and choosing clothes not only for myself but also for my mom, dad , my sister and even my friends who sometimes, asks for my opinions when it comes to clothes and stuff. I want to write about that too. I want to share all the thoughts that I’ve been keeping inside my brain. But I really can’t get myself to write about it.
I’ve been watching KDramas (on and off actually, at one point I am very enthusiastic when it comes to watching but then at some point in time I suddenly become bored) and I really want to share and express all my feels with you. I want to say how I am kilig with one scene and another. I want to share all my feels and talk about kpop and kdrama, things that I also love. But then again, something feels off. Something doesn’t seem right. The thing is I can’t get myself to write about anything.
I want to analyze and review movies, books and everything. I want to express myself. I made this blog because I want to share how I feel and to bring out the creative side of me (kala mo talaga creative eh). But I stopped before I can even start. I went on a hiatus. I went on a hiatus from this blog, from myself.
How can I even go on a hiatus from myself?
I guess I can. I guess I did. Because I went on a hiatus from the things that I love.
I guess people really lose interest. There are times that we need to stop. we need to stop because we can’t find any inspiration at all. I lost all of it. Things start to devour me,things have been so hard for me, things have been very different and all I can do was to plaster a smile and project a happy character in front of everyone, including you.
Something about writing feels off. Something about it makes me overwhelmed with emotions I might not get myself to keep up with it.
I can’t seem to find the right outlet for all the emotions I’ve been feeling. I’ve been so confused on how my life is going. I’ve been constantly asking myself if this is still me or not. I’m lost not in life but my feelings were. They got lost and I can’t seem to find it and all what’s left is emptiness.
It was empty.Her heart was.
Despite of all those things, I tried to pull myself slowly. I tried to get up. I tried writing slowly but whenever things are getting a little bit better, something happens and there she is again. In the dark abyss, and all she can see was nothing.
Good thing is she loves the stars. The stars that shines the brightest in the dark and despite of seeing only nothing in that abyss, she tried to get up and she tried to become that star. She tried to pull her self up and at one point in time, everything seems to get better. Her feelings slowly came back and returned to her like it was home. Not totally fine but she knows she’s doing great. She’s doing better.
I know I did well and I will continue on doing well.
With the help of the people around me, and especially you, the one who’s reading this, I know that things are starting to be okay and I guess, time really helps! I just needed the time to ponder about things, collect myself and get back on my track. So there you have it 😀 that’s the reason why I stopped writing for so long 😉
I am writing this one because I want to let all these thoughts out hehe. It’s 2018 soon and even though 2017 wasn’t really my year hehehehe , I will make sure that I will do better this coming year.
So what are my plaaaaaaans?
I will start writing about all of my pending articles and edit those vlogs hehehehe. Little by little I’ll post it up here even though it’s soooooo overdue. I would still write because I want to preserve that memory of mine hehe. I would also post my future fashion choices chenes HAHAHHAHA AKALA MO TALAGA EH , pero ayon I dress up according to my mood naman eh so 😀
I also have upcoming plans this May and I’ll surely write about it hihi 😉
My kdrama and kpop feels will also be posted here for I will comeback and become a total fangirl again this year!!! GOT7 x Nu’est as always hihi <3
To end this letter, I just want to thank you for being able to reach up to this part of my letter. I hope that you had a wonderful 2017 and hoping that you’ll be much more better this 2018. As I go on a journey, I hope that you’ll never get tired of reading this and certainly never get tired of becoming a part of my life. Thank you so much :* <3
Be happy, that’s all I’ve been wishing for.